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snitches get stitches

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Tell me you don't want to punch this face!










I want to punch this punchable face so bad! Seriously, nobody makes me feel potentially violent more than this smug, mugging evil little man. I basically think he is the second-coming of Satan and exactly how I imagined the news guy from "1984" is. I hate his demeanor, his whole "I'M YOUR FRIEND! LOOK, WE'RE JOKING AROUND ABOUT SERIOUS ISSUES! YOU CAN TRUST ME, I HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART! I WOULDN'T LIE TO YOU, I WANT TO PROTECT YOUR FAMILY! I'M YOUR FRIEND!

Don't believe that Glen Beck is the worst? Here's a recent example of his dangerous mind. You know that guy in Alabama that killed his mom and 9 others this past week? Here's Glen Beck JUSTIFYING this man's actions, stating that this psycho was "pushed to the wall" by "political correctness". If this doesn't show you the darkness in Glen Beck's decrepit soul then I don't know what will. I'm serious. This is a sick, sick person, I'm talking serious mental illness. And it takes a lot of insanity to make Bill O'Reily the thoughtful, rational, humane one.



Anyways...Glen Beck has us surrounded! He's reporting from his "fear chamber" or "doom room" or whatever, putting Obama's America on notice! We are surrounded! Come out with our hands up, for no hand-outs!

Nevermind that Obama was elected by 7 million votes because American WANTED change. Nevermind that the most recent Gallup poll shows Obama's approval rating at 67%. Nevermind that the Republicans have no plan to fix the economy or the country and are a national punchline. Nevermind that the leader of the opposition is a drug-addicted sex-tourist. GLEN BECK HAS US SURROUNDED! RUN FOR THE HILLS!

Here's Beck's maddeningly vague and simple-minded "Principles For America" that I guess only the scared status-quo slaves, flat-earth global warming deniers, and anti-government (unless, you know, they're running the government) FREEDOM LOVERS believe in. And if you believe in 7 of these childlike, universal principles then you get to join a facebook group! And a cookie!

Here's Beck's stupid "Scouts honor" 12 values (which have nothing in common with Republican ideology).




Here's his even stupider 9 principles (which apparently you must believe in at least 7 of these or... you die?)




1. America is good place, not perfect, but good.

2. I believe in God and He is the center of my life.

3. I must try to be a better, more honest person than I was yesterday.

4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority.

5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.

6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness and not a guarantee of equal results.

7. I work hard for what I have. I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.

8. It is not un-American for me to disagree or share my personal opinion.

9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them. They answer to me.



Here's the thing, Mr. Beck, you hypocrite. Right wing nutjobs don't love their country more. They don't have a monopoly on goodness, morality, Christianity, and truth. Your child-like, vague "principles" can be espoused by most people with enough nuance and semantics-wrangling. You don't have us surrounded. You are in the minority. Your simple-minded followers are in the minority. You are a dinosaur, on the edge on extinction. You are a joke. You are irrelevant. You are a water-carrier for the shrinking, scared right... nothing more, nothing less. You are a stop-gap for fear-mongering white people, a appetizer of hate and ignorance before the Hannity-O'Reily main course.

We surround you, Glen Beck. Go ahead and keep scaring your white audience. Go ahead and cry on camera, pleading for the death of traitors in your doom room. Just don't think that you're actually important or that you matter, or that you affect reality in any way. You're a clown, a comedian, a nobody. With an extremely punchable face.

Here's Shephard Smith (the honest Fox News guy that's on before Beck's show) totally eviscerating Glen Beck on TV. He realizes how much a joke Glen Beck is, and he is basically making fun of him and the Fox News network the whole time. It's actually really funny, kudos Shephard Smith

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