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Thursday, July 10, 2008

New Jersey Guido mating dance

From Best Week Ever:

A lucky camera-person on Safari in what appears to be Belmar, New Jersey captured some million-dollar footage of the elusive and wonderful Jersey Shore Mating Ritual. Observe, as the male of the species, commonly known as the Guidus Maximus, presents himself as a suitable mating partner to the female, hoping she will be attracted to his gelled hair, headband, Fake Bake sunless tanned chest, and ripped jeans, which have been rolled up to look like Capri pants. He begins the ritual by dancing, poorly, until he has captured her attention and she joins him in this ancient display of physical seduction. But wait! His equally shirtless and terrible friend in dancing alone in the corner could be sexual competition! Will our glimpse of these beasts in their most natural setting lead to a successful mating partnership that will likely end in abortion or, worse, further propagation of this species? Or will the female wander back over to her friends for another Mike’s Hard Lemonade and a Newport?

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